Guardians, bosses and their hard versions
Five named fights carry most of the boss achievements: Soveena the Squid and Cannon Boat Keith in Sailor Village, Flavio the Thermal Fish and Lava Lamp Larry in Cossack Village, and Roger Red Ant on the road to Baron Dante.
The five names the achievements use
Argonaut's store page advertises "all-new Guardians" and names three of them: Soveena the Squid, Cannon Boat Keith and Flavio the Thermal Fish. The achievement list adds two more named encounters, Lava Lamp Larry and Roger Red Ant, and pins each one to a village. Between them they cover eight of the game's 37 achievements, including every entry in the bottom ten of the completion table.
| Fight | Village | Base achievement | Hard version |
|---|---|---|---|
| Soveena the Squid | Sailor Village | The Heartbreak Squid (59.9%) | Crate Expectations (33.1%) |
| Cannon Boat Keith | Sailor Village | Cannonfall (57.4%) | Cannonball Fun (33.9%) |
| Flavio the Thermal Fish | Cossack Village | A Fish Called Flavio (31.6%) | Cloudy with a Chance of Ice Cubes (18.6%) |
| Lava Lamp Larry | Cossack Village | Saving Lava Lamp Larry (28.9%) | License to Chill (11.2%) |
| Roger Red Ant | Unnamed in the achievement | Ant Misbehavin' (21.7%) | — |
Rates are Steam global completion figures on 31 October 2026.
Soveena the Squid
The first Guardian, and the one the store page uses as its example: Soveena is obsessed with ginger soda and treats Sailor Village as her personal supply. The base fight is the gentlest boss in the game at a 59.9% completion rate, which makes it the right place to learn how Croc's arenas work: the boss telegraphs, you get a limited set of props, and the props are the damage.
Crate Expectations is the same fight with a budget: only the first three TNT crates are allowed to count. Every crate you break early or waste on the wrong phase is a failed attempt. The 33.1% rate tells you most players try to rush the damage instead of waiting for the opening.
Cannon Boat Keith
A pirate captain with an army of skeleton crewmates, per Argonaut's description, and the second Sailor Village Guardian. Cannonfall (57.4%) is a straight kill; Cannonball Fun (33.9%) asks for the same kill without taking a single hit, which makes it the first genuine no-hit fight in the game.
Because the arena is a boat deck with cannon fire, the no-hit version is about positioning, not damage: stay out of the broadside lanes and only close when the cannons reload. If you are grinding this one, do it before you learn any bad habits from later bosses.
Flavio the Thermal Fish
Flavio spits scalding water at anyone who crosses him, which is the whole fight: a lava-and-water arena where the ice cubes are your only answer. A Fish Called Flavio sits at 31.6%, already half of Soveena's rate, because the arena itself hurts you.
Cloudy with a Chance of Ice Cubes (18.6%) restricts you to the first six ice cubes with no missed opportunities. That is the fight's real shape: six openings, six throws, no room for a seventh attempt. Count your throws out loud if you have to.
Lava Lamp Larry
Larry is a rescue, not a boss: Saving Lava Lamp Larry (28.9%) is about getting him out of Cossack Village alive. The hard version, License to Chill (11.2%), limits you to the first four big ice cubes.
That 11.2% makes it the second-rarest non-Baron achievement, and the reason is the same as Flavio's: the ice cubes are a fixed resource, and the level punishes any cube spent on the wrong obstacle.
Roger Red Ant
The only named fight outside a village label. Ant Misbehavin' (21.7%) asks you to beat Roger Red Ant without letting any bomb blow up prematurely — a timing fight rather than an aiming fight. It has no listed hard variant in the achievement set.
Baron Dante
The Baron is not a Guardian but he closes the game, and he carries four achievements: The Baron Who Fell To Earth (13.2%) for knocking him off the mountain, Dante's Peak (12.5%) for the peak fight, Untaken (8.5%) for winning without letting the Inventor be carried away, and Barons of the Fall (7.4%) for the no-damage, no-missed-opportunity version.
GooFellas (6.7%) belongs to the same endgame chain: it is the only achievement tied to Goo Man Chu's tower, and it asks you to touch no goo at all. That is the rarest achievement in the game.
How to practise a hard version
The pattern across all five is the same, and it is worth internalising before Cossack Village: the arena hands you a fixed number of props, the boss has a fixed number of openings, and the hard achievement simply forbids wasting either. Learn the base fight until you can finish it without healing, then take the restriction.
The achievement table has every rate in one list, and the collectibles page explains the Golden Gobbo counters that overlap with boss levels.
